Sunday, April 26, 2009

The Husband Chronicles: Renaissance Festival '09

Greetings loyal followers!

If this is your first experience with the Husband Chronicles, I am The Husband, faithful servant to the king and royal defender against dragons, basilisks, rogue gypsies and.... okay, you get the point. Off we went to the Georgia Renaissance Festival!

In years past, I played the role of gentle husband and father, staying home with my offspring while the beer wenches played.... Well this year, I opted for the role of documentarian, pledging to the masses that I could gather a kaleidoscope of killer captures. A myriad of memorable memorabilia. A fine flow of funny photos.

This is my collection:

1:15pm - Christy alienates multiple LARP-ing vendors by mocking their products and wardrobes. Christy finishes 9th beer.

1:23pm - Katie and Jennifer indulge merrily. Jennifer splurges on a $400 commemorative stein and Katie promises not to nurse her baby later...

2:12pm - I track down some of the elder statesmen. My story was this: I come from a future
where history has been grossly misrepresented by an evil controlling government. This government has lied to the public and stated that bottled water was a 20th century invention... I have traveled to the past to prove otherwise.

3:12 - These fairies were stealing gypsy tears all day!

3:19 -The police came shortly after these photos. We were asked to stay away from wooden cut outs for the remainder of the day...

Feeling dejected, we decided to consume more adult beverages.

number 13 for Jennifer...

number 9 for Katie...

Christy asked me to stop counting after 14....

The beer of the day: Blue Moon with Orange... mmmm.

We made alot of great friends here!

Like this guy! How cordial!

A fine example of someone who was not part of the show... So much dedication to the cause!

After so many beers, the girls needed food. Christy spotted a shady spot (directly above this sign, in a roped off area). We enjoyed several medieval gyros and then realized we were, for some odd reason, covered in small pellets of sheep poop..

And then we met Old Greg! He was sipping Bailey's from a shoe as we encountered him...

Finally, I must tell you this tale....

Along the journey, there are a number of "Hit This Guy With a Tomato" booths and "Dunk This Dame" dunk tanks. After my final adult beverage, we journeyed back to the time portal to return home. When suddenly I heard jeers from afar:

"Hurley! Hey, Hurley!"

Yes, they were speaking to me.
If any of you watch TV's LOST you are familiar with Hurley. And while I don't feel that we look alike, my curly hair and slight weightiness may have contributed to this misunderstanding.

Fortunately, the guy at the ticket booth was on my side:
"Hey man, this guy's a jerk. Here's a ball for free."

And you know what?

I dunked him!

...Feeling victorious, I made this face:


eitak said...

OMG! that is an awesome recap! thank you gandolph for dunking that guy...what an awesome day and an even better finale!

JenJen said...

Andrew Bernard.. what can I say? You are freaking hillarious! I laughed my azzhole off (literally.. I'm serious). Your documentary skillz are stellar. Ever think of starting your own blog..?

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