The rest of the day is filled with the seemingly never-ending array of chores. Menial tasks that I could SERIOUSLY do without, like picking up discarded clothes off the floor, loading/unloading/loading/unloading the dishwasher, and breaking up the
there are all those other little priceless moments that only I get to enjoy: Getting Jack's early morning sleepy smell all to myself, being privy to his thoughts and questions all. day. long. :) and being able to squeeze in a few tiny moments of peace for myself to be able to meditate and listen to what God wants me to do next -(sometimes these get pushed to the wayside, but it has become very clear to me just how important they are for
I've battled a lot lately with feeling worthless. What do I contribute? Why am I not out there being Fabulous all over town? What do people think of me? Ugh... such gross feelings. I've felt all jumbled up inside. Bombarded with self-doubt and unloving feelings toward myself. And then.... I just had to snap myself out of it. Realize that I MUST get over this awful ugly monster. Like over it for good. And really get it through to the heart of me that I DON'T have to live to impress! My work is good! I'm good enough, smart enough and doggonit...... just kiddin). But above all, my happiness/peace/fulfillment doesn't rest in finding success in this world.
It's so hard to keep a pure heart, free of pride and self. To just listen and be. But I'm working on it everyday.
And so, I am feeling good in this role of Housewife and Mother (and cage fighting ref) for as long as God wants me to. This is my time to really know myself, find peace (often the hard way) and as my Mama Faye would say be a helpmeet for Andy. I wonder how many women's lib peeps out there gagged while reading this?
Sorry bout that. Haaaha
Oh, well... :)